The one-sided spectrum of managing family inheritance
One of the greatest wealth transfers in history is currently taking place and it is happening through inheritance. Gaining a deeper understanding of how wealth is transferred from one generation to another will help us better evaluate what is being received.
In a recent survey conducted in-house by the Inheritance Muse Consultancy, people were asked what they define as being inherited wealth. Over 90% answered, “What one gets, after a parent or relative dies”. Dictionaries follow along the same lines in defining inheritance as ‘the act of receiving, by legal succession or bequest objects, money, property, titles etc., following the previous owner’s death.’ In most cases, managing family inheritance is viewed as a once-off event and the transfer of tangible, measurable things. Although this description may be true, it does not give a whole view of what inheritance is or what it fully entails.
Factoring intangibles into the equation
To broaden the scope, one should consider the dictionary’s secondary definitions which state, ‘something from the past or from your family that affects the way you behave, look, and perceive the world.’ Here is where inheritance starts to get interesting. We soon realise that there is a large part of inherited wealth that is neither time-based nor can be measured but can equally be inherited, valued and experienced. This is a kind of invisible underlying bequest, given to us in a direct and often unprocessed form.
We receive it through our DNA, ancestry, parents and family upbringing, cultural heritage, environment – and by simply being a citizen on planet Earth. This is called ‘intangible inheritance’, a source of immeasurable value and potential. Beginning with our birth, it continues to unfold throughout our life and affects us in so many ways. In fact, much of it has already been received.
When it comes to managing family inheritance and understanding wealth, intangible inheritance is something that is often overlooked, in comparison with the tangible aspect. Yet it has the potential to become one of the most valuable things that we own.
1. Ancestors: a force to be reckoned with
If we are here today, it is because someone in our family history took a risk or did something remarkable. This all was transmitted to us, imprinted in our family’s collective memory and subtly escorts us throughout our life. Neuroscience and epigenetics are shining a light on this new territory, on how one generation transfers content to another.
Our direct ancestors are not just paintings on the wall. They are forces in our life. We inherit their emotional and psychological substance, their skills and talents, and carry their habits and patterns, their strengths and weaknesses. Like fire, this is not a good or bad thing. It is just part of the intangible inheritance package. It works like a latent potential carrying possibility. When for example, we lack the courage to do something, yet someone in our past had this quality, so it is there inside us and is accessible to us.
2. Parental legacy and family culture
Family heritage can have long-lasting multi-generational implications, beyond the money, assets or family business. Attitudes and family values, as well as ways of communicating and traditions, all foster personal success and nurture the positive development of the inheritors. Family culture can also perpetuate contrary effects through ancestral trauma, abuse, limiting patterns and beliefs leading to frustration, conflict or harmful habits. Generally speaking, most of us will receive a bit of both.
Well-intending parents and guardians, while trying to process their own past, become carriers of family legacy, passing it down – often unintentionally. Children pick up so much of this unconsciously, through their actions, without questioning the usefulness, validity or value of their behaviour and the way their parents manage their life. This in turn has a great influence on their life.
Ultimately, it is not what we inherit, but what we do with it. When we understand the potential and creative power of this subtle wealth, we can consciously address our family story, heal it, edit it and change the legacy trajectory. Herein lies an opportunity to transform this inheritance substance from heavy lead into precious gold. As no matter what our ancestors, parents or guardians have left us with, it is up to us to eventually decide what we will do with it. In doing so, we resolve and release that baggage that stands in the way of a flowing, thriving legacy for ourselves, our children and the generations to come. This approach can lead to better overall evaluations, better estate management, improvement of family dynamics where solutions are found to pending problems – or simply forgiven.
3. Human endeavours bearing a thousand gifts
Widening the perspective even more we will see our inheritance is immense. We stand upon layers and layers of actions and experiences of those before us who created the events and things passed down to us, by those who came before us. From the simply designed button on our shirt and the chair we sit on, to the electricity we use and the human rights charter that protects us, the list is endless. Architecture, philosophy, science, politics, medicine and everything in between form this cultural flame, and it’s all within our reach. When was the last time you noticed a teapot, a safety pin or any other daily mundane thing that we take for granted and whispered inwardly, “I see you all and thank you”?
Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” Rainer Maria Rilke, Austrian poet and novelist (1875-1926)
Imagine how rich and connected we could feel with this thought. Everywhere one looks, there are millions of people who we will never meet. But their lives touch our existence in so many ways. It is difficult to discern where their life ends and where ours begins because we live within the realm of what they created. It is not our parents giving us those twelve Chippendale dining chairs. The whole of humanity is in those old chairs, and we wonder if we should send them off to Christie’s for auction because they don’t match our home decor.
4. Environmental capital
Expanding the family inheritance spectrum further, environmental heritage comes into our awareness. Our parents do not give us the natural environment, but they may have shown us how to access, appreciate and hopefully sustain it. The seasons with their brilliant colours, the fresh air, the sounds of nature, the rich smells of the soil, flowers and fruits of the Earth, even a city’s poetic melancholy when it rains. We are receivers and can access this. Reflecting on Ernest Hemingway’s words, “I had an inheritance from my father, It was the moon and the sun. And though I roam all over the world, the spending of it’s never done.” The idea of us being heirs of a larger inheritance that surrounds us, if we only look, becomes more evident.
A new approach to managing family inheritance
In factoring the intangible aspects into the inheritance equation, we come to realise that inheritance is a lot more like the ongoing transfer, rather than an event followed by someone’s passing away. We could compare it to a vast flowing river of experience, power and potential, in which we exist and travel within. Or, we can imagine it as a deep source that brings forth treasures, abundance and prosperity to us, as it may equally bring forth debris, pain and unfulfillment to us. It is up to us how we interact with it.
Inheritance contains a composite value that includes both its tangible and intangible aspects. These complement each other and create more wealth-value.
As the greatest wealth transfer is underway and we are on the receiving end, it is good to know that each of us has been a rich heir all along. From the very day we were born we continue to be receivers. There is so much we can be grateful for. And though we cannot control the content, we can co-create with it, change the narrative, heal the pain, speak our truth, open our hearts and live our values. As heirs, it is our turn to pour this valuable, rich golden fluid into the shape of our unique individual vessels and form the legacy and life we want. Where do we begin? We begin by managing family inheritance with a new mindset beyond “What one gets, after a parent or relative dies”.